“Don’t worry about it” ???

At 7:55 this morning, my windows began to rattle. The sound became thunderous as five F-15 Eagle jet fighters from the Hawaii Air National Guard flew the “missing man” formation over Pearl Harbor. They came in so low over my home the pilot could have picked a papaya off the top of my tree.

Sixty five years ago to the minute, Japanese war planes flew that same route in their surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, plunging the US into war with Japan.

Years ago, I spoke with a gentleman who has carried a heavy burden since that Sunday morning in 1941. It was his first day at the Schofield Barracks duty station. He received a call from a radar installation on the North Shore of Oahu that detected incoming planes. Assuming they were our own B-17s, he uttered four words he has regretted his entire life. “Don’t worry about it.”

Later, a congressional investigation absolved him of negligence. They placed the responsibility on his superiors for inadequately preparing him for his responsibilities. Still, he lives under a cloud of guilt.

I often think about the responsibility God has given me as a husband and father. You see, we have an enemy and nothing would please him more than to pull off a surprise attack on our family. We need to be watchful, alert, always on our guard. 

… not ignorant of Satan’s devices (2 Cor. 2:11).

When our children were young and we would send them off to school, every morning we would all go through motions like we were putting our armor on. “Helmet of salvation? Check. Breastplate of righteousness? Check. Belt of truth? Check. Shield of faith? Check. Sword of the Spirit? Check. Shoes of the gospel of peace? Check.” Okay, we’re ready to go! They might have forgotten their pencils and tablets but they never forgot their armor!

Looking back, we came through a few battles. More than a few. I know you have as well. And there will be more to come, sorry to break it to you. But in all things, we can be more than conquerors through Jesus Christ who loves us and gave Himself for us.

So keep your armor on, my friend. You can leave home without your American Express but don’t leave home without your armor!

 

What happened to the pepper?

Was it last Christmas or the year before? My kids were home from the Mainland and we spent an evening looking at old family photos.

“Here’s one of me in my twenties, before you kids were born. Notice the nice full head of dark brown hair. Now, here I am in my thirties, three children later - the hair is salt and pepper. And this one is in my forties when you were teenagers. It’s almost all salt!”

At that, one of my kids piped up, “Look, Dad, here you are in your fifties. It looks like the old salt shaker is nearly empty!”

It’s true. The new hairs on my brush each day remind me I’m not getting any younger.

After thirty-something years in Christian radio, I took an early retirement due to post-polio syndrome, a malady that sometimes strikes polio victims thirty to forty years after the initial encounter.

I had polio as a youngster. Got along fairly well growing up. I could do most of what the other kids did. Maybe not quite as fast.

But in recent years, this post-polio thing has set in and it’s sort of knocked me on my wallet. I’ve had to cut back on a lot of activities.

But God is good and He has awakened a new interest in my life – writing. In a way it is similar to broadcasting. It’s still communications. Just using a word processor instead of a microphone. 

The best discipline I have developed is to spend time daily in devotions and then journal the thoughts and insights God gives me. Started doing it about three years ago. Wish it was thirty.

I have stacks of journals everywhere – they are invaluable to me. If my house caught fire in the middle of the night, I would shove my wife and kids and my journals out the bedroom window, and not necessarily in that order.

Recently I have begun praying about taking some of those musings and scribblings and publishing a devotional book. When I wrote them, I thought they were only for myself but if they can help someone else who is struggling, as I have, then maybe that’s what it’s all about.

Don’t want to wait too long though. I’m not getting any younger.

They say God has the hairs of our head numbered.

So do I!

 

Hey there, Cuz!

Had a visit from my cousin, Bob Curtis, not long ago. Hadn’t seen him since High School days, almost forty years ago.

“Bobby, you’re looking great!” I said, fingers crossed behind my back.

“Del, you haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you,” he said, lying through his teeth.

I’m thinking to myself, I sure hope I didn’t look like this when I was seventeen. Of course, that would explain why it was so hard to get a date for the prom.

Bob has battled cancer off and on the past few years. Seems to be doing well now, but like he said, you never know with cancer. You just never know. All you can do is take one day at a time.

Funny thing, I was reading James just a couple days ago. He says,

“Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” James 4:14

As we in Hawaii say, “Here today. Gone to Maui.”

I told my cousin we’re all terminal. None of us are getting out of here alive. Not unless the trumpet sounds.

But I’m not so worried about what will happen tomorrow. I’m more concerned about how I’m living today. Being the best husband I can be. Setting the right example for my children to follow. Living my life in a manner pleasing to God.

These are among the priorities in my life. I hope you have taken time to define priorities for yours.

Yep. Like Cousin Bob says, it’s one day at a time.

Aren’t you glad we don’t have to take ‘em two at a time?!

 

Dad’s praying chair

Living in Hawaii, we get calls at three in the morning from telemarketers trying to sell time shares in Florida. They have no clue we’re six hours behind. One actually thought Hawaii was in the Caribbean. 

Sleep is a personal thing with me. I love my pillow. My futon is my favorite friend. So anything that gets me up at night better be important.  

Having said that, today I found a verse in my Bible I highlighted years ago:

Rise in the night and cry to your God. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord; lift up your hands to Him; plead for your children… Lamentations 2:19

I discovered that verse while going through some deep waters with one of my children. I had underlined, rise in the night, and plead for your children. Dated it September 9, 1999.

This passage speaks to me of someone who is desperate for an answer. Desperate to the point of sacrificing personal comfort in order to be heard by God.

“Rise in the night…plead for your children…”

The sin that grips our children and their generation is strong. Unrelenting! It attaches itself like a nut rusted to a bolt. They become inseparable.

Prayer, serious, sleep depriving prayer, is the only thing that will break the grip. It is the penetrating oil that will dissolve the corrosion and loosen the threads and cause it to become functional once again.

I actually went to Sears and bought a chair back in 1999. A big, overstuffed chair for the living room. And I would get up at night, sit in the chair and pray. The kids started calling it, “Dad’s praying chair.”

God heard the prayers of that heavy-hearted dad and proved Himself faithful once again. Not that everything is perfect. But when I think of the way it was then and the way it is today, I can only thank Him for His mercy and grace!

What is it that makes you toss and turn at night? Is there something going on in your world that keeps you awake? If so, let me suggest you get yourself a praying chair.

 

Please encourage me

Sitting here at Starbucks, it’s interesting the conversations you can eavesdrop on. There’s a young married couple two tables down. They have the cutest little girl. Blond wavy hair. Three or four years old.

The husband has been on his wife’s case from the moment they walked in. The only time he isn’t criticizing her is when he’s yelling at the girl. She’s full of energy. Can’t sit still. It annoys him.

The wife is unhappy. You can see it in the empty look in her eyes. Can’t  blame her. I would be too, if this guy was in my grill all day.

Someday, she’ll have an affair. Someone will come along who treats her with kindness, tells her how nice she looks, makes her feel good about herself. Words of encouragement she longs to hear. And she’ll fall head over heels. You can bet the farm.

Her husband will be viewed as the victim. After all, she is the one who had the affair. She’s the one who was unfaithful, not him. And she will live with the shame.

I’d like to grab the guy by the throat and shake him. “Stick a sock in your mouth, Dude. Wake up! Look what you’re doing to your family.”

I am convinced, one of the biggest needs we have is the need for encouragement. Life has a way of beating up on you. Hitting you below the belt. And you’re left crying out, “Encourage me! Say something that will make me feel good about myself. Because right now, I’m feeling really cruddy.”

A couple years ago, I promised myself I would encourage my wife every day. I would encourage my children every opportunity I got. No more cutting remarks. No backhanded verbal jabs. And I won’t complain about other things. My job, my health, my finances. No one needs to hear how bad the president is doing. They don’t need me complaining about the price of gas. It just isn’t necessary.

Heed the words of Paul from 1 Thessalonians 5:11: Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I challenge you to make that commitment, as I did. Encourage your wife and children. Build them up every day. They are crying out for it.

 

Put me out of my misery

Then knowing what lies ahead for you, you won’t become bored with being a Christian, nor become spiritually dull and indifferent, but you will be anxious to follow the example of those who receive all that God has promised them because of their strong faith and patience. Hebrews 6:12

In college, there was nothing worse than having to take some ridiculous class because it was the only course open that met a prerequisite. Like ”Men’s Wear in the Mid to Late 19th Century.” Someone please shoot me and put me out of my pain!

If the course had no relevance, I would die, or at least dream of dying!

A lot of young people feel that way about Christianity. Church is a big drag. Borrrrrring! They see no relevance and many will drop out first chance they get.

But Christianity is relevant and we must help them to understand. It is about developing strength of character that will carry them through life with all its pressures. It is about becoming an exemplary human being, one who will cause others to stop and take notice. It’s about developing qualities that will bring promotion, success, leadership, recognition.

And how does all this happen? It happens as we take on more and more of the character qualities of God Himself. As God’s children, we begin to look more like Him each day. Paul put it best; we’re being conformed into His image.

Christianity is a life of excitement. It is not a life of boredom. It is filled with challenge and adventure. Not all fun and games – it can be tough. But when you live a life of faith as it was intended, there is never a dull moment.

 

Get rich, er… Get ripped off quick!

Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. Eph. 4:28 (LB)

One lesson I learned from my dad was the importance of good, honest work. I learned it more from watching his example than from anything he said. Dad would get up early – before five – put in a full day, then come home and help my mother in her drapery business. He would be out late helping her with installations.

A couple of get-rich-quick schemes came through that were tempting. One had to do with a new innovation in car oil filters. On the outside it looked like any other filter but inside, you insert a roll of toilet paper. Then every 3,000 miles, simply change the roll. Pretty ingenious. You never have to buy a filter again. Just keep changing the toilet paper. They tried to get Dad to sell those things. Said it was a ground level opportunity – he was sure to make a fortune. But Dad declined, and lucky he did. Before long, guys were bringing their cars into the shop for major repairs. Seems their valves were clogged up with clumps of Charmin.

Paul understood the importance of good, honest, labor. He made tents to put bread and butter on his table. He believed you do an honest day’s labor, you get an honest wage. No shortcuts. No “get-rich-quick” schemes. He rolled up his sleeves and put in his eight hours like everyone else.

We’ve all seen the late-night TV shows. Heard how you can make millions buying and selling real estate with no money down. And software that lets you make a fortune in options trading – sounds tempting – just buy when the arrow is green and sell when it’s red. Then order another Bentley for your ten car garage.

But for every person who gets rich quick, there are a thousand who get ripped off quick and those odds are not worth taking.

There is a way to gain wealth, and the first step is actually quite easy. It simply depends which side of the bed you sleep on. If you sleep on the right side, you swing your right leg out. If you sleep on the left, swing out your left leg. Then get up, go to work, and for the next eight hours, give your boss a hundred and ten percent. Do your work with excellence. Do it “heartily as for the Lord and not unto men” (Col. 3:23), as if Jesus Christ was your immediate supervisor.

Good, honest work will bring promotion. It will bring excellent performance evaluations. You will receive recommendations and strong references, and in time, it will lead to bigger and better opportunities. It worked for me. My first radio job was midnight to six in Havre, Montana, population 12,000, of which only about twelve were still up after midnight. But I treated that shift as if I were doing the morning drive-time slot in a major city. And before long, I was. In Honolulu. Doesn’t get any better than that!

Good honest work brings its own rewards. More importantly, it develops strength of character which is of far more value than earthly wealth. And that is a lesson every father needs to teach his children.

 

Tell him where to go!

And then He adds, “I will never again remember their sins and lawless deeds.” Hebrews 10:17

One thing we need to remember is that when God forgives, He forgets. There are several scriptures that teach us that. If He kept all our sins on His hard-drive, He’d max it out so He just drags and drops the files into the trash and then deletes the trash.

Satan doesn’t forget our past and he doesn’t want us to either. So he keeps bringing it up. It’s one of his best weapons – condemnation. You’re no good. You did drugs. You cheated on your wife. You lied, you stole. He has a record of every wrongful thing we’ve ever done stored on a flash memory-stick and when we’re least  expecting it, he’ll pop it into the USB port of our life and play it in vivid color. It all comes back like it was yesterday, and we feel condemned.

Next time Satan reminds you of your past and you feel discouraged, here’s what to do. Remind him of his future. Now he’ll be the one who is discouraged. He will someday be bound and cast into a lake of fire where he will spend eternity.

Since God forgives and forgets our wrong doings, we must do the same for our family. I cannot stress how important it is. If they made a mistake and asked your forgiveness, then forgive them and forget about it. Don’t bring it up again. Ever.

You get in a heated argument with your wife and you want to dig something up out of the past - bite your lip. Put a cork in it. No matter how much you want to, don’t bring it up. She might drag stuff out of your past, but don’t you do it. You be the bigger person.

Same goes for your children. They mess up for the hundredth time – don’t throw their past failures in their face. Deal with the present then move forward to the future but forget the past. God put your eyes in the front of your head for a reason. They’re meant to look forward. He didn’t create us with a rear-view mirror.

Again, since God is willing to forget the past, we must do the same. Let’s move forward in victory!

 

Two left feet

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults. 1 Peter 4:8 (LB) 

Sometimes as men, we can be pretty clumsy. We’re supposed to be the leader of the family, the one they look up to, follow after, yet we are full of mistakes. We have two left feet. And one of them is usually in our mouth. I happen to be ambidextrous. I can stick either foot in my mouth, left or right. It doesn’t matter.

So raising kids can be a challenge. Part of us wants them to grow up to be just like dad. Another part prays they won’t!

I remember when our first child was born. “It’s a boy!” What a feeling! He arrived at 2:58 AM and we happened to live three or four blocks from the hospital so I walked home at about four in the morning. I was so excited, yet scared to death. How do you raise these things? They don’t come with an instruction manual. Of course, which of us guys reads manuals anyway?

If you feel like a klutz when it comes to raising kids, Peter is telling us we can make up for a lot of mistakes if we will shower them with love. So you can’t throw a perfect spiral, and you strike out playing T-ball. It’s okay. Your kids will overlook it if they know Dad loves them.

Take it from Peter. Love makes up for many of your faults.

Action points:

1. Tell your kids you love them. If you’re uncomfortable saying it out loud, say it out loud anyway. They need to hear you. They’re not mind readers.
2. Then show them your love with your actions. Find a way today to demonstrate your love. They need to see it in action. 

 

Gray skies in Hawaii

It’s a gray day here in Hawaii. My baby, Rebecca, just left for college. It’s a hard day, brother, real hard. I love that little girl so much - gonna miss her big time.

She cried so hard when she left. We watched her go into the terminal and suddenly, she came running back to the car. We thought she forgot something. My wife rolled down the window and Becca reached in and gave her the longest hug – tears streaming down her face. Then she ran to my side and did the same for me. It was a rare moment when airport security wasn’t pushing us to move along. The guard could see what was going on.

I’m going to pray everyday for Becca. She is so young. So fragile. Now, she’s up in Los Angeles by herself. I pray for her safety. O God, please watch over her. I pray she will make the right friends. That she will make good choices. That she will learn to depend everyday on Jesus. Oh, and since she’s at USC, I pray she can score me some tickets to the Rose Bowl!

Meanwhile, back home – back at the ranch – the house seems empty. Quiet. I closed her bedroom door. A knot would form in my gut every time I walked down the hall and saw her empty room.

In a way, I wonder what’s left in life. Now that my youngest child is gone, I kind of feel like my main mission in life is over.

But nonsense! Good things are yet to come. Who knows? Maybe the best! No time to feel sorry for myself. Gotta press on. The rocking chair can wait. No way can I curl up and die. After all, who’d be there to answer the phone when she needs more money!

Press on, Dude!