Teach me, Dad

Sitting here at Starbucks, it’s interesting the conversations you can eavesdrop on. There’s a young married couple two tables down. They have the cutest little girl. Blond wavy hair. Three or four years old.

The husband has been on his wife’s case from the moment they walked in. The only time he isn’t criticizing her is when he’s yelling at the girl. She’s full of energy. Can’t sit still. It annoys him.

The wife is unhappy. You can see it in the empty look in her eyes. Can’t  blame her. I would be too, if this guy was in my grill all day.

Someday, she’ll have an affair. Someone will come along who treats her with kindness, tells her how nice she looks, makes her feel good about herself. Words of encouragement she longs to hear. And she’ll fall head over heels. You can bet the farm.

Her husband will be viewed as the victim. After all, she is the one who had the affair. She’s the one who was unfaithful, not him. And she will live with the shame.

I’d like to grab the guy by the throat and shake him. “Stick a sock in your mouth, Dude. Wake up! Look what you’re doing to your family.”

I am convinced, one of the biggest needs we have is the need for encouragement. Life has a way of beating up on you. Hitting you below the belt. And you’re left crying out, “Encourage me! Say something that will make me feel good about myself. Because right now, I’m feeling really cruddy.”

A couple years ago, I promised myself I would encourage my wife every day. I would encourage my children every opportunity I got. No more cutting remarks. No backhanded verbal jabs. And I won’t complain about other things. My job, my health, my finances. No one needs to hear how bad the president is doing. They don’t need me complaining about the price of gas. It just isn’t necessary.

Heed the words of Paul from 1 Thessalonians 5:11: Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

I challenge you to make that commitment, as I did. Encourage your wife and children. Build them up every day. They are crying out for it.

I remember in third grade, we had a neighborhood bully. When he came around, you were faced with a decision- fight or flight. Now, I wasn’t the strongest kid on the block but I was definitely the slowest, so my options were limited.

One day, he ran up behind me, jumped on my back, knocked me to the ground and started punching me in the head. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a soda can just within reach so I picked it up and smashed him in the face as hard as I could. He got up, blood gushing from his nose, and ran home crying. He never bothered me again.

That was the last fight I was ever in but it was not the last bully I’ve had to face. I’ve faced many a bully that was not made of flesh and blood.

Bullies of financial reversal, bullies that tried to destroy my career. There are bullies that would love to harm my children and ruin my marriage. Right now, I’m facing a bully that is attacking my health.

So how do you get these bullies off your back and make them run home to momma? If I had the answer, I’d write a book. Go on the lecture circuit. Give seminars. Del’s Bully Busters. I’d make a million!

Unfortunately, there will always be a neighborhood bully. He’ll never move away. But it’s okay. Just listen to Joshua:

Be strong. Be courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged. The Lord God is with you wherever you go! (Josh. 1:9)

Always remember that, my friend. The Lord God is with you wherever you go!

Oh, and keep a soda can nearby.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12 (NIV)

There is one characteristic I admire in the lives of those who have made it to the top of their profession. Whether it’s business, sports, politics, the arts, they all have one common denominator. Persistence. They never give up. Many of them have been knocked down a hundred times but they got back up and continued on.

There are others with more talent, more natural abilities, but no one knows their name because at the first sign of adversity they threw in the towel.

Michael Jordan was cut from the basketball team in his sophomore year of High School. And it hurt. He went home, closed his bedroom door and cried. At the end of the season, the coach reluctantly let him ride the team bus to the State Tournament on the condition that he carry the other guy’s uniforms to the locker room.

“It’s probably good that it happened,” he said. “Good because it made me know what disappointment felt like, and I knew that I didn’t want to have that feeling ever again.”

While others would have quit, Michael went on to become one of the greatest athletes in the history of professional sports.

They say Thomas Edison failed hundreds of times trying to invent the light bulb. Lucky for me he didn’t quit. I’d be sitting here typing on my word processor by the light of a kerosene lantern!

Okay, bad joke, I know, but the point being, if he had quit, someone else would have invented the light bulb and we would have never heard of Thomas Edison.

If God has given you a vision, go for it, my friend. Don’t let failure stop you from reaching your goals. The Apostle Paul didn’t. He said our adversity is only light and momentary (2 Cor. 4:7). So don’t be weary in doing what is right, for after a while, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we do not get discouraged and give up (Gal. 6:9).

Then I lay down and slept in peace and woke up safely, for the Lord was watching over me. Psalm 3:5 (LB)

At first glance it may seem like no big deal. David lay down and slept peacefully. I do that every night. But then you read the subtitle of the chapter. It says, “A Psalm of David when he fled from his son, Absalom.”

David is fleeing for his life. His son has gone postal and wants to kill him and take over the throne. David is hiding in caves, hiding in the woods. Bad enough knowing any moment, he could be lined up in the cross hairs but imagine how he feels knowing it’s his own son with his finger on the trigger.

I cannot fathom the pain I would feel if my son, Nathan, and his buddies were chasing me through the woods.

So what does David do? He lays down and sleeps. Peacefully, no less! He has complete faith God will protect him.

I only wish I had that kind of faith. I am no where near that level. Not even close. But maybe someday.

There’s another story of a guy sleeping in the midst of a life threatening situation. In fact, it’s David’s great, great…grandson, Jesus.

He and His disciples are on the Sea of Galilee when a storm comes up that has even Peter reaching for the Dramamine. About the time the boat is ready to go under, they find Jesus lying on a pillow, checking out the back of His eyelids. No fear. No worry. He was at peace in the midst of the storm.

If you’re going through some stormy times of your own, here’s a question you can ask yourself. Where would you rather be? Sailing on peaceful waters without Jesus, or bailing water in the midst of a storm with him in the boat? 

Someone hand me a bucket!

Don’t be like a senseless horse or mule that has to have a bit in its mouth to keep it in line. Psalm 32:9 (LB)

I find it interesting that the mule is one of the least intelligent animals alive, yet it insists on having its own way. Dumb but stubborn. What a combination!

Now, it’s okay to be stubborn, or shall we say, set in your ways, if you know all the answers. But when you don’t have a clue, yet you dig in your heels and refuse to change, that’s just plain stupidity.

I was born and raised a Republican. My next door neighbor was born and raised Democrat. I vote straight Republican, he votes straight Democrat, although neither of us usually has a clue what our candidates stand for. He and I might as well stay home on election day. We cancel each other out.

Same goes for Christianity. One guy is raised Baptist, his next door neighbor, Charismatic. Both are set in their ways. Neither will fellowship with the other.

I wonder how many times God has broken a fingernail scratching His head as he watches us? We are so set in our ways, so rigid in our beliefs, yet we are as clueless as the stubborn mule.

Paul told us we don’t see the whole picture. Here’s how he puts it:

We see only a little about God now, as if we were peering at His reflection in a foggy mirror. (1 Cor. 13:12)

Nonetheless, we think we know it all and if anyone tries to tell us different, we dig in our heels, “Hee-haw. Hee-haw.”

So God is forced to get out the bit and put it in our mouths. It’s the only way he can get us to budge. To correct our course.

When will we ever learn?

By the way, the bit serves another useful purpose. It’s hard to mouth off a lot of baloney when you’ve got that thing holding down your tongue.

Nuff said. 

Because you are so loving and kind, listen to me and make me well again. Psalm 119:149 (LB)

This verse caught my eye because I’m going through some tough times physically. In the past so many days, I’ve been X-rayed, had an ultrasound, undergone a pulmonary exam, been through a CT. I’ve had iodine injected into my veins, blood drawn out of my veins. I’ve drank so much barium, I set off Geiger Counters.

I had to take a urine test. Doctor said if I failed, it could be a very bad thing, so I stayed up all night studying for it. Lost a whole night of sleep.

Ultimately, my life is in God’s hands. He can make me well or He can take me home. Either way, it is an act of His kindness. And I really am okay either way He plays it. He does all things well.

By the way, I’m really proud of myself. The doctor called. Says I passed the urine test.

Bad joke…real bad!

But dearly loved friends, if our consciences are clear, we can come to the Lord with perfect assurance and trust and get whatever we ask for because we are obeying Him. 1 John 3:21,22 (LB)

I have two keys that let me into my house; one is for the doorknob, the other for the deadbolt. Without them both, I’m looking for a window to climb through.

In today’s verse, I see two keys to getting our prayers answered. One without the other and we’re left standing on the porch.

The first key is a clear conscience. We’re doing our best to live in holiness, avoiding the tripwires that arouse the  flesh. When we do stumble and fall, we get back to our feet, ask forgiveness, learn from our mistakes, and continue straight ahead.

The second key is obedience. When God speaks, we are quick to say, “Yes!” No second-guessing His plan. No rebellion. No moaning and groaning if the assignment is tough. We are eager to obey His voice. “How high would you like me to jump?”

Holiness and obedience, two keys that will open the door to His Heavenly warehouse. Step inside. You’ll find everything you need.

Then knowing what lies ahead for you, you won’t become bored with being a Christian, nor become spiritually dull and indifferent, but you will be anxious to follow the example of those who receive all that God has promised them because of their strong faith and patience. Hebrews 6:12

In college, there was nothing worse than having to take some ridiculous class because it was the only course open that met a prerequisite. Like ”Men’s Wear in the Mid to Late 19th Century.” Someone please shoot me and put me out of my pain!

If the course had no relevance, I would die, or at least dream of dying!

A lot of young people feel that way about Christianity. Church is a big drag. Borrrrrring! They see no relevance and many will drop out first chance they get.

But Christianity is relevant and we must help them to understand. It is about developing strength of character that will carry them through life with all its pressures. It is about becoming an exemplary human being, one who will cause others to stop and take notice. It’s about developing qualities that will bring promotion, success, leadership, recognition.

And how does all this happen? It happens as we take on more and more of the character qualities of God Himself. As God’s children, we begin to look more like Him each day. Paul put it best; we’re being conformed into His image.

Christianity is a life of excitement. It is not a life of boredom. It is filled with challenge and adventure. Not all fun and games – it can be tough. But when you live a life of faith as it was intended, there is never a dull moment.

When you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21 (NIV)

There are a lot of forks in the road of life. Trouble is, they usually don’t come with street signs. If they were marked, “Success Street” or “Failure Ave” you’d know which way to turn. But with no sign, you’re left standing there scratching your head. “Do I go left or right?”

Yogi Berra of the New York Yankees had no patience with people who could not make decisions. He once said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Unfortunately it’s not that easy.

Sometimes there is a sign. One path is marked Urgent, the other Important. Too often, we take the urgent.

It’s urgent that I attend this meeting so I neglect the important – my daily devotions. It’s urgent that I close this sale so I shortchange the important – my time with my wife and kids. A client urgently needs my attention so my son has no dad watching his soccer game.

We choose the urgent because it shouts so much louder, and we tend to follow the loudest voice. But wisdom doesn’t always shout from a loudspeaker. Sometimes it speaks in a whisper. Look how God spoke to Elijah:

And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountains; it was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 1 Kings 19:11,12 (LB)

Next time you’re at a fork in the road, quiet yourself and listen. You will hear that still, small voice saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”  

It happened the other day. My computer wouldn’t boot. I shut it off and tried again. Two or three times. Nothing. “This can’t be happening. Not my hard-drive!”

Five years of my life were on that hard-drive. My brain was on that hard-drive. Without my computer I don’t know what timezone I’m in.

Fortunately, a smart guy like me had everything backed up, right? Wishful thinking! I vaguely remember doing a backup in about 2003.

The guy at the shop is like, “Dude, you know they all fail eventually. It’s not a matter of if, but when.” Lucky for me, he was able to retrieve my data.

It’s funny but life is like that hard-drive. We all go through times of failure. It’s not if but when.

But failure is not always a bad thing. You can learn a lot from failure, in fact, you often learn more from failure than you do from success. You grow stronger, become wiser, develop new habits.

David Robinson knew about failure. His San Antonio Spurs had dreams of a championship. Then the seven foot, one inch Robinson tore a ligament and was out for the season. The Spurs playoff hopes tanked. But through his injury, they drafted another seven footer, Tim Duncan, and he and David became the “Twin Towers” that won the NBA Championship the following year. As he was awarded the MVP of the series, he credited his victory to his past failures. He said, “Failure doesn’t get enough credit. It teaches us humility, perseverance, and the value of hard work. When you fail, you have to learn from your mistakes and move on.”

Another David, the Psalmist, also knew about failure. He could defeat the Philistine giant, Goliath, but he couldn’t win the battle with his own flesh. His lust led him to commit adultery, which led to murder. But David learned from his failures and became known as a man after God’s own heart. He wrote a song that we still sing today:

Though my flesh and my heart may fail, God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Psalm 73:26 NIV)

Next time you fail, don’t beat yourself up over it. Grab on to it as an opportunity to learn and grow. God has placed it in your pathway as a stepping stone on the road to success!